228. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

WrestleMania XII
March 31, 1996
Arrowhead Pond
Anaheim, CA

It’s difficult to even call this one a match. It’s a Hollywood Back Lot Brawl, which begins in an alleyway with Goldust, in a gold Cadillac attempting to run down a baseball bat wielding Piper. The ridiculous violent melee in the alley ends when Goldust hits Piper with the car and speeds away. Luckily, Piper has a culturally relevant white Bronco to chase after him in. At this point, the segment ends and they toss us back to the arena.

But this match is not over. During the following match between Steve Austin and Savio Vega, Piper phones in from his cell phone a couple of times to give an update on the chase. As that match ends they cut to “footage” from this one, which is just the infamous O.J. Simpson Bronco chase.

After a couple more matches, we see them pull back in to the arena. The violent battle finds its way down to the ring for the first time. After Goldust eventually kisses Piper, Roddy gets so mad that he grabs Goldust’s dick and then spanks him. Ok. He then tears all of his clothes off revealing Goldust’s lingerie. Yeah, this makes sense. Apparently Goldust’s kiss awakened something in Roddy Piper. Goldust just runs away covering his breasts with the help of Marlena and the match is over. This is a real clusterfuck that has its entertaining moments, but mostly is just a real weird head scratcher.


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