April 1, 2007
I have a great idea. Let’s put every woman in one segment. I’ve got it. Lumberjill match.
WWE kept up their long tradition of this practice and of giving the Women’s Title shot to whoever they put on the cover of Playboy most recently. This time it was Ashley Massaro, just like Christy Hemme before her.
The psychology in the match is garbage. Case in point, the point of a lumberjack match is so that neither competitor can escape; instead, Melina attempts to escape a couple of times before being put back in the ring. And then the women on the outside are essentially forgotten. At one point, Melina executes a big swing, but it is not exactly Cesaro level.
Ashley misses an elbow drop that has a name, “star struck”, implying it might be her finisher, which personally offends me. Finally, Melina pins Ashley to retain the belt with a back bridge pin, like, as in not even a move, really.
Afterwards, Ashley, the face, is angry so she attacks Melina and of course, all hell breaks loose. JBL calls it “lumberjill pandemonium”, which also makes me feel a little sick to my stomach.
Let’s all just forget this happened and worship at the altar of Asuka. I’m sorry that I have put this on the internet and preserved its memory.